HEAR ME: Confessions of Devoted Sinners

Sin had become part of our nature.

Peter denied Jesus Christ three times before the rooster crowed just as the Messiah prophesized because of selfishness driven by fear. As he was consumed by greed, Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss on his cheek for thirty pieces of silver, hanging himself on a tree afterwards because of guilt and regret.

These are just but a few to the numbers of sins written inside the ancient bible. But regardless whether it’s part of it or not, we, ourselves, cannot deny the fact that we commit sin every day no matter how small or grand it may be – from the subtle glance of envy to a knife plunged on someone else’s body.

Still, it would not deter our faith, to show how strong our love and devotion to Jesus Christ especially on Holy Week just as how these people who had sinned.

Her worthy sacrifice

Trekking the long road to reach the grounds of Sto. Kristo Chapel in Kapitangan, Paombong had become a yearly tradition to 67-year-old Lourdes Lopez during Holy Week. For as long as she could remember, she had been a devotee who visits this particular church on Good Friday, the day Jesus Christ was crucified. Lola Lourdes also shared that with or without anyone to accompany her, just as she travelled without one this year, it would not hinder her in continuing her tradition.

“Hindi ako nasamahan ng mga anak ko ngayon kasi may kanya-kanya na rin silang mga lakad ng pamilya pero kahit naman wala akong kasama kaya pa rin namang umalis mag-isa,” Lola Lourdes shared, a tint of sadness coloring her voice.

When Lola Lourdes was asked why she’s particularly doing this tradition instead of travelling to other places for a vacation, she shared that it was also part of her atonement for sinning – that despite her old, tender age, she admitted that she’s far from being sinless.

“Ginagawa ko ito kasi ito na siguro iyong paraan na alam ko para mapakita sa Panginoon na nagsisisi ako sa mga kamaliang nagagawa ko paminsan-minsan... Kahit matanda na ako, masasabi ko pa rin kahit papano na nagkakasala pa rin ako lalo na tuwing nag-iinit minsan ulo ko kahit walang ginagawang mali mga anak ko, walang taong hindi makasalanan,” Lola Lourdes shared.

Although her children weren’t there to escort her in her long walk, Lola Lourdes had them in her mind and heart as she’s also doing her sacrifice on that day for their sake as well. Just as Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself to save us, Lola Lourdes was doing the same thing for her children in her own way.

“Ang lakad kong ito, hindi lang din naman para sa akin ito. Para na rin sa mga anak ko kaya,” she said with a smile on her face.

His worthy pain

For 10 years, 35-year-old Jose Santos had been a self-flagellant as part of his tradition during Holy Week in Kapitangan, Paombong.  In remembering his first time with this painful ritual, Mang Jose revealed how he couldn’t move in the 3 following days and walk straight in another 2 days because of the agonizing pain spreading not only on his back, but on his entire body

“Sa una kong pagpenitensya, mga 25 taong gulang ako, hindi sa nanakot ako pero sobrang sakit sa katawan. Hindi pa kasi sanay katawan ko kaya iyon ‘yong nangyari. Halos isang linggo ako hindi makagalaw ng maayos sa sobrang sakit,” Mang Jose shared.

Though he could be considered as a veteran with self-flagellation, Mang Jose admitted that the pain could be unbearable sometimes but still he continued this traditional sacrifice as he believed that it was nothing compared to the pain inflicted upon Jesus Christ.

“Kung ikukumpara naman sa sakit na nararanasan ko [tuwing nagpepenitensya], walang-wala naman ‘yon sa naranasan ni Hesus kaya kahit sobrang sakit minsan na hindi ako nagigising ng isang buong araw, kakayanin pa rin,” he said.

In inflicting pain on his body, Mang Jose had found this tradition as a way to pay for the sins he had committed every year for 10 years. For this year, he shared that his penitence was for drinking alcoholic beverages and not working on some days because of laziness.

“Naghahampas dugo ako kasi ito ‘yong paraan ko ng pagpapakita sa Diyos na nagsisisi ako sa mga kasalanan ko... ’Yong pagpepenitensya ko ngayon, ang kasalanan ko siguro na pinaglalaanan no’n iyong pag-iinom ko at hindi pagtatrabaho minsan dahil sa katamaran,” Mang Jose said.

Truly, sin maybe part of our nature even from the ancient times but it would never outshine our blinding love and mighty devotion for Jesus Christ as we try to share His pain on Holy Week in the little ways we know and can.